How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
