Can Purell be used as lube?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
