im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
