Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend