they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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