Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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