Define "chronic" masturbator.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel