Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
