made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
