just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
