obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she told me i tasted like america
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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