They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My dick has a subreddit
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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