Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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