I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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