Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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