after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's great music for shaving your balls
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
