I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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