apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
