i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
