He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
