How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize