My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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