Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
