No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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