Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
