Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
