This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
