Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
