i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ttyl tear gas
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's a naked man in my car right now.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
