She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
