So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
