garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
