I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
