i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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