I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
