he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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