Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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