Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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