just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
not ubering you a puppy
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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