I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
