3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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