that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
