went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
