i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
