Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
