My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
