so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
