Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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