I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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