Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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