i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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