I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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