thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
