yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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