i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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