is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My first STD was from a foam party
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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