The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
