is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
