she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
