Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
