brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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