pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
