no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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