I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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