I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
