You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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