Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
